Josephine's Diary

I tinkered with my Father's toys that Jewel had stored in her house before his house burned down.

It was during dinner at home Mother would always have us pray for the Fifth, so that the world would continue to be peaceful and prosperous in his absence. Without my Father, dinner would be as short and quiet as my prayers, shutting my eyes I'd let out a whisper, "Bless this food Fifth, come back soon." Opening my eyes right quick, I'd set them on the table, then to Mother since her eyes stayed closed. Mother would always pray the longest. I'd always stare at her serenity trying to imagine what she was thinking. Maybe she was picturing Father sitting at the table with us, his tongue as sharp as a knife when he'd say the food was a-getting cold. Father never understood prayer, but he said to me one night that her facial expression during it would remind him of the day I was born; a face that transcended pain. Back then I could hear them aloud. Now I had to bear with the silence.

My Father never believed in miracles. I gave an excuse to Mother one evening that if Father didn't believe in prayer why I should and she simply said, "When you're able to have society depend on you, and when you stop playing with toys." I rolled my Father's model car and rubbed my eyes. "I'm still a child Mother, I'm sorry I couldn't be more like Father."

He was a man of reason and his beliefs were simple, "Anything can be possible without the possibility of faith." He believed that if society continued to seek knowledge, they would eventually receive it. He'd say, "If half the world could sit and meditate to someone who didn't exist, they could be helping the other working half." I loved my Father but he was as stubborn as most of his colleagues were, especially when rumors broke out that the Fifth had come back to Panacea. I believed even if they were rumors, it brought hope back into society, but Father would always dismiss it completely saying, "if such a thing existed, I would be the first to see it." He always had a vision for the future, but it never included mine or anybody else's.